


Lonely Night

by Minunlike



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-17
Updated: 2013-01-17
Packaged: 2017-11-25 19:10:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/642081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Minunlike/pseuds/Minunlike
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sayaka and Kyoko are alone together, in more than just the literal sense.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lonely Night

**Author's Note:**

> Man I am so loaded with Madoka feels right now, I just had to type something out, no matter the quality. I hope it's passable.

Kyoko is beginning to wonder if it was wise inviting Sayaka to stay with her.

  
But jeez, what else could she do? She'd found the girl half-dead, wandering around some filthy alleyway as if she didn't have anywhere else to go. Naturally, Kyoko had gone up to her and asked what was going on. Her response was a mutter of something like "I can't face my family" and a vacant look.

  
Sayaka's lucky. Anyone else, and Kyoko would have just left their ass on the streets. But somehow, the girl had grown on her... So she'd invited her to come and hole up together for a while. Expecting some kind of angry refusal or "I don't need your charity", Kyoko was surprised when she actually accepted.

  
So here they are, the two of them, in the small hotel room Kyoko currently calls home. But honestly, there might as well be only her. Sayaka is sitting huddled in the corner, as she has been since they got here last night. She hasn't moved from that spot at all... not to eat, sleep, or even use the bathroom.

  
Kyoko knows she has no business complaining. She knows all the crap Sayaka's been through. Watching her friend die, seeing shit no one should ever have to see, losing the guy she gave up her life for to someone else, finding out what it really _means_ to be a magical girl... that'd break anybody. But still, seeing her reduced to this, the girl who was once so determined, so sure of herself... It makes Kyoko a little sick.

  
So she sits on the side of the bed and watches her. It's not entertaining, but it's something to do. Every so often, Sayaka will shift slightly, or mumble something Kyoko can't hear, or shiver a little... but other than that, she remains completely motionless. If Kyoko couldn't see her breathing in and out, she might think the girl was a statue.

  
At some point, she gets bored of watching and takes out a PSP she mooched off of some kid. Shooting the hell out of some gangsters might offer her at least a little comfort...  
But as the hours go by and the sky begins to turn black, she just can't stand seeing Sayaka moping like this anymore. She takes a box of donuts from the bedside table and goes to sit beside the girl, presenting the box to her.

  
"Here."

  
Sayaka lifts her head to look at the donuts, then shakes it slowly.

 

It doesn't deter Kyoko. "Come on, you ain't eaten all day. You need to get something in you."

  
She buries her face even further into her arms and mutters "M'not hungry". Kyoko can tell by her posture and the grogginess in her voice that she probably hadn't gotten any sleep either.

  
She's not pleased at Sayaka's refusal. But that's fine, she's prepared to sit here all night if she needs to. She continues to hold the box out, waiting for Sayaka to take one. But sure enough, she's gone back to being silent and doing her statue impression. Finally, Kyoko's patience begins to wear thin.

  
"You're not doing yourself any favors, ya know? If you don't eat anything, you're gonna starve to death before any witch gets her hands on you."

  
She pulls a donut out of the box. As she does, the paper in the box rustles loudly, and Sayaka flinches. Kyoko gives her a concerned look and holds the donut out to her.

"Red azuki bean. Come on, it's good!"

  
Her only response is more silence. Expected, but it still pisses Kyoko off. And as the silence continues, it makes her even more agitated. She clenches her fists to keep herself under control, but the frustration continues to mount.

  
 At this point, she can't take it anymore, and she's done playing nice. She lifts Sayaka's chin up, grabs her shoulders and forces the girl to face her.

  
"Think I'm playing around? You need to stop wasting all your energy on everyone else and start taking care of _yourself_ for once in your damn life."

  
She takes the donut and holds it in front of Sayaka's face.

  
"Now you are gonna eat this if I have to _shove it down your throat_. Got it?"

  
At first, she only sits there in Kyoko's grip, giving a dull, empty stare. Then, with shaking hands, she takes the donut from her. After staring at it for a while as if it's some kind of monster, she slowly bites into it. Kyoko feels a little relieved, but that feeling is short-lived as Sayaka starts to gag on the donut and cough it back up.

  
" _Easy_ ," Kyoko gently thumps her on the back. "I don't care how slow you go, as long as you eat it."

  
Sayaka quickly recovers and continues to pick at the donut. It takes a long time, but she eventually manages to finish the whole thing.

  
Kyoko nods with approval. "See, there ya go! Pretty good stuff, huh?"

  
She smiles, hoping to lighten up the mood at least a little. But no effect... she can't ward off the dark and dreary mood hanging in the air. She shakes her head and lets out a sigh, moving to get up and sit back down on the bed. She stops in her tracks when she hears that tiny voice pipe up.

  
"...Why..."

  
There's more to it than just that one word, but it's muffled by Sayaka's arms. Kyoko eagerly resumes her spot on the floor and leans closer. "Say again?"

  
Slowly and painfully, Sayaka lifts her head and repeats herself.

  
"Why haven't you given up...?"

  
It takes Kyoko a while to get over the shock of the fact that Sayaka is actually speaking without being prompted, but she comes up with her answer pretty quick. "Because I like you too much to watch you sit and rot away like this."

  
Sayaka huddles further into herself. "Why do you like me?" she says, her voice tinged with pain and hoarse from lack of use. "I'm not worth liking... A corpse like me isn't worth caring for. Rotting is all I'm good for now..."

  
Kyoko frowns. She knew Sayaka took that revelation pretty hard, but she never expected that kind of bleak outlook. "So what if your soul's in some gaudy gem? You're still _you_ , Sayaka. You're still the same person you were before this whole mess happened. And you're sure as _hell_ worth caring about, and if some douchebag doesn't think so, then I've got 5 ways he can get acquainted with my spear up his-"

  
Kyoko's about to go off on a colorful tangent, but Sayaka interrupts. "You don't _get_ it, do you?" she says, shaking her head. "I threw my life away. All I can do now is fight witches, and maybe save someone every now and then. But no matter what I do, I still have to watch people suffer and die anyway. There's nothing I have that's worth fighting for... but I have to keep fighting anyway. It's all I can do now."

  
Kyoko lets out a frustrated sigh. "That's just it... You keep acting like you have to do everything alone. But it's not like that, you know? You've still got me! And you've still got your little buddy Madoka to back you-"

  
"Madoka only cares because she feels _obligated_ to," Sayaka says, cutting her off. "She's nice to _everybody_ , that's just the way she is. If she knew what was good for her, she'd just stay away from me."

  
Kyoko doesn't really have a response to that, and can do nothing but let her continue.

  
"I didn't just lose the boy I loved. I lost my happiness. I lost my friends. I lost my _future_. I don't have a life anymore. I don't have _anything_ anymore!"

  
Sayaka hides her face away again. She doesn't say anything else, just sits there shaking like a leaf. Kyoko sighs again, though less out of frustration and more out of disbelief at what she's about to do.

  
Before she can back out, she forces any regrets out of her mind and reaches her arms around Sayaka, pulling the girl up against her. Sayaka lets out a strangled cry, and Kyoko can feel her resisting just a bit, but she's so weak that it barely makes a difference.

  
Kyoko looks to the side and tries to think of something to say. She knows she can't just say that everything's going to be fine, because they both know very well that it will never be fine. She sorts through words over and over again in her mind, trying to find the right ones to convey what she's feeling. She leaves a long moment of awkward silence, broken up only by Sayaka's shaky unsteady breathing, before she finds the words she wants.

  
"Listen..." she says softly. "It's not your fault that this happened to you. You didn't know any better. _None_ of us did. But..." She hesitates, still unsure of herself. "But it doesn't mean you're not worth caring about, you know?"

  
Sayaka doesn't respond, nor does she make any attempt to return Kyoko's embrace. But that's fine... Kyoko doesn't really need her to answer anymore. She just wants her to know that someone is here for her.

  
"And I don't care if you don't think you deserve it... I'm never gonna give up on you. You hear?" She pulls Sayaka closer. " _Never_."

  
Another silence... and then, Sayaka's voice pipes up again.

  
"I'm sorry... All I ever do is yell at you and chastise you... and now, all I'm doing is moping around and crying and making you worry about me... I'm sorry I keep making you deal with all of that..." She leans into Kyoko and shakes harder as the dam begins to break. "I'm _sorry_..."

  
Kyoko gives her a light squeeze. "It's cool, all right? It's fine... You can mope and cry all you want, if it'll make you feel better. Just let it all out! I'll sit right here."

  
This stuff is really out of Kyoko's comfort zone. But she meant every word of what she just said, and there's no way she's gonna back out now.

  
Soon enough, Sayaka quietly starts to sob. Even though Kyoko had said to let it all out, she can tell the girl is still holding back. But she doesn't say anything. She just sits right there.

  
"I don't wanna fight anymore..."

  
Kyoko nods. Honestly, she's sick of fighting herself. All the fun and novelty of having magic and cool weapons wore off a long time ago. "I know where you're coming from," she says as she pats the back of Sayaka's head. But her words seem to go unheard.

  
"I don't wanna see anyone suffer anymore..."

  
Kyoko lets out another deep sigh. "I know... see, if it were up to me, no one would have to go through any of this bullshit in their lives..." She smiles weakly. "Free food and fancy houses for everyone, you know? And games... people to hang out with... anything! Then everyone could be happy..."

  
If only it were possible for such a world to exist... a world like the fairytales she'd grown up loving. But now she knows better than to believe in those illusions.

  
More time passes, and she can hear Sayaka starting to cry harder. Just the sound of it is enough to make Kyoko want to cry herself... But she doesn't cry. She used up all her tears long ago.

  
"Make it stop... _Make it stop_..."

  
It's a broken, despondent plea, and it makes Kyoko cringe. To hear such a brave, optimistic, _strong_ girl reduced to this... desperately begging like a terrified kindergarten child... It's one of the things that shatters a person's optimism into pieces.

  
Kyoko knows she can't make it stop. No one can make it stop... All she can do is offer meaningless words and physical gestures and hope it'll somehow make things at least somewhat okay again.

  
By now, Sayaka's not holding back anymore. Kyoko squeezes the girl as tightly as she can and lets her wail her heart out.

  
...

  
Neither of them know how long they've been sitting in that corner. But at last, Sayaka seems to have calmed down considerably. She pulls herself away from Kyoko, and they both stand up and stretch.

  
"Got that out of your system?" Kyoko says with a little smile.

  
Sayaka nods. Her tired and now tear-stained face seems to have lost much of the despair it once had.

  
Kyoko walks over and fixes up the bed. "You should go back home to your folks tomorrow. But for now, just get some sleep, kay?" She sits on the bed and gives it a pat.

  
Sayaka nods again, reluctantly walks over to the bed and climbs inside. Kyoko waits for her to get comfortable before settling in herself.

  
That day ends with the best night's sleep either of them have had in some time.


End file.
